What to Do After You Fall For the Wrong Person

It's all giggles and butterflies until you fall for the wrong person and come to the crushing realisation that your feelings are questionably inappropriate. Attraction is not something you can predict and control. But no matter how dramatic impossible romances seem on screen, you don't want to go down that road. 

So how do you deal with it? 

The Don'ts

A lot of the time, a person is wrong for us in a romantic context because we have a pre-existing relationship with them which complicates matters. 

For example, they might be a long-term friend or even a colleague. Whatever the case might be, it's never acceptable to impose our feelings on them before considering things through and taking our pre-existing relationship into account.

Save the Guilt Trip 

Falling for the wrong person is sad enough with its myriad of complications, unrequited feelings, and an obvious tragic end. So why give ourselves a hard time thinking about just how inappropriate our feelings are? Besides, we don't have control over the kind of feelings we grow. 

So rather than beating yourself up over why you're having such feelings, it'll be more productive to just accept it and go from there. 

Creating Space for Reflection 

Sometimes, being near the person you are crushing on can make thinking straight difficult. So, it's always a good idea to make some space and think things over before jumping to conclusions. And who knows, the "out of sight, out of mind" saying just might prove itself to be true and save you from your misery once and for all. 

If not that, you'll at least be able to think more clearly and realise whether you truly have developed deep feelings or was it just a fleeting attraction. 

Talk to Someone

Depending on just how inappropriate it is to have feelings for the person you do, you might think it's embarrassing or not normal to fall for the wrong person. But most people go through this experience once or twice in their lives. 

Even if reaching out to people doesn't help you find solace, it'll help you see things from a different point of view which can help you make your final decision.

The Decision 

No matter how much you want to avoid making a concrete decision, you will eventually have to take it. As romantic feelings are intimate and personal, no amount of external input can give you the right answer. 

The final decision about what to do is yours and yours only. From choosing to pretending it never happened to confessing so that you can move on, there are multiple choices, none of which are easy. So be kind to yourself.

Developing a crush is so unpredictable it is borderline magical. But what makes romantic feelings so romantic can also make it a sure recipe for a low-budget tragedy. Hence, take your time and decide wisely.

Tazreen's entire existence can be summed up in burgers, books, bad music taste and binge-watching k-dramas. To complain about her overuse of alliteration, reach her at [email protected]