How to force yourself to have fun on New Year's Eve

The fascinating thing about extroverts is that they always find a way to make a festival out of anything. Human beings have successfully made a festival out of their planet completing a revolution around the sun, but the problem with extroverts lies in the fact that they find it necessary to involve everyone else in their celebration of insignificant events, even if it's against their will.

Somehow, 28-year-old adults with not much to do believe that the 29th year will magically bring some positive change in their lives. Since they won't let you enjoy your winter vacation quietly with fireworks popping off until 3 AM, you might as well succumb to the societal pressure like you always have and go out to have some extrovert-approved definition of fun.

The first step to having fun on December 31 is to manage a BBQ party invite at some over-enthusiastic friend's rooftop. A year-end BBQ party is an event where one person cooks an entire batch of chicken for 23 people and the other 22 take pictures with the setup for social media points. In the end, the person inhaling coal and getting second-degree burns for the past four hours ends up getting zero recognition and one half-eaten piece of chicken. However, freezing yourself to a fever in a cold winter rooftop BBQ party is crucial in proving that you're not a social outcast.

A fulfilling 31st night has to involve some sort of fire hazard. Bengalis have found the most ingenious way of having fun at the cost of risking other peoples' lives in the form of a fire lantern. It's a glorious custom where people light up a small hot air balloon and watch it fly away for five minutes, not thinking about where it might land. Apart from coincidentally increasing reports of UFO sightings in the area, sky lanterns also end up causing fire and other environmental hazards. But hey, when has that ever stopped anyone?

Last but not least, any New Year's party is incomplete without some industrial-grade sound pollution. News of environmental hazards, death of birds and animals, noise complaints and health hazards for infants flood our timeline every New Year's with the authority banning its use this year. However, since the average IQ of a typical New Year's party enjoyer is lower than the room temperature, human conscience isn't really applicable. It's imperative that you take part in ruining the sleep and peace of your entire locality, break laws and convince yourself that you're having fun. Anything less than active participation in this celebration of yet another unrewarding year will label you as a 'buzzkill'.

Gone are the days of spending vacation the way you want to. It's time you let your FOMO take over, book your nearest extrovert and celebrate New Year's Eve the way it's meant to be – surrounded by chaos, pollution and burnt meat.

Hasib Ur Rashid Ifti is a student at Bangladesh University of Engineering and Technology.