Getting out to avoid cheating; Australia to Bangladesh’s rescue

The following is a roundup of World Cup news, real and imagined. More imagined than real. Actually, it's all imagined.

Batter suffers cramps, gets out immediately to avoid cheating

The name of this batter has been withheld because it is too soon, and time in this country follows a warped path in the case of humour, as it is always too soon.

Back to the imagined story, the batter suffered cramps during a World Cup match, and he remembered the words he uttered right before he left his country for the World Cup.

This particular batter, who may or may not be the captain of his country, had said that if anyone plays with an injury, that player was in effect cheating the country.

So, putting on our imaginary imagination hats, we have learnt that those words started playing inside his ear Bollywood style as soon as this batter, who may or may not be an all-rounder, suffered from an attack of the cramps while batting in a World Cup match.

Teary-eyed at the prospect of becoming a self-proclaimed cheat, he proceeded to swing his bat at whatever the bowlers bowled till he got out. Although he had left his partner, who was batting well and in the process of getting the team out of trouble, in the lurch, the batter left the ground with head held high as his integrity was intact.

The batter's team probably lost the match, but we cannot say for sure, because it really is too soon.

AUSTRALIA HELPING BANGLADESH

Since winning the first match against Afghanistan, Bangladesh's batters have had a woeful time at the global showpiece event. But before anyone could criticise the Tigers, Australia came to the rescue.

The five-time champions have outshone, or outgloomed Bangladesh, failing to cross 200 in their first two matches. It turns out that Australia's cricketers are big fans and sympathisers of Bangladesh cricket.

"Look, we knew we really did not have much chance coming into this World Cup," Australia captain Pat Cummins told our imagination. "So, with that in mind, we have started throwing our wickets away and dropping catches."

When asked why that would help Bangladesh, he said, "We know Bangladeshi fans. In fact, that's how we became fans, reading Bangladesh cricket lovers' Facebook comments. The moment their team starts doing badly, they will look for other teams doing worse. And we are the most successful nation in World Cup history. So, when we were out for our second sub-200 score, and saw their Facebook comments saying 'Even Australia can't score 200, so how can you blame Bangladesh', we knew we were on the right track."