Published on 06:00 AM, December 21, 2023

Satire

Friends of BBA student tired of filling up Google Forms

Photo: Orchid Chakma

Thanks to the unhealthy fixation of our society with STEM, it's already pretty tough being a BBA student in Bangladesh. After tolerating the constant humiliation from parents and relatives, a BBA student has to live with the fact that they're pursuing a degree in something which can be replaced by a YouTube playlist. But what's more difficult than being a BBA student is to be friends with one.

However, Shadman Sakib, a BBA undergrad at Bi-Directional University, has made it more difficult for his friends to tolerate him by constantly spamming their inboxes with links to Google Forms and begging them to fill those up.

"BBA basically takes the profit loss equation a bit too seriously and makes it a four-year-long undergraduate program," Shadman explained. "The last time I saw something get stretched this far, it was me trying to prolong the conversation with my crush following her one-word replies. So, naturally, we have a lot of free time to waste. And that's where business competitions and presentations come in."

"Be it academic presentations or business competitions, surveys are the key to everything," continued Shadman. "They're the backbone of any PowerPoint presentation and the only real content in my 18-slide-long presentation that no one's going to read. So, I send links to those Google Forms to my friends, relatives, workplace group chat, family WhatsApp group chat, my driver, housemaid, and everyone I know. Sure, it often ends up being eight to nine times per day and I have been blocked by all my childhood friends. But that's a sacrifice you'll have to be willing to make if you aspire to be an unpaid intern at a capitalist conglomerate right after graduation."

"I blocked Shadman on all forms of social media after our breakup," said Rupban Zaberi, Shadman's ex-girlfriend. "After months of rejection, when he sent BDT 5 to my MohaKash wallet and included a note with it, I couldn't help but unblock him on socials after 18 months of no contact. Immediately, he sent me a text. When I opened it, it redirected me to a Google Form containing a survey. He's now blocked on my MohaKash account as well."

Hasib Ur Rashid Ifti is a student of Bangladesh University of Engineering and Technology.