Additional brutality commissioner reprimanded for beating the wrong kind of people
The six-time-heavy-baton champion Additional Brutality Commissioner (ABC) Marum-Ek-Ghushi struck again (quite literally) and this time the blow unfortunately fell upon Chapasthan Young Men (CYM) members. The consequences were dire.
Previously, ABC Marum informed this correspondent that he believed he beats to protect justice, he beats to protect the law. He also mentioned that his seasoned taste for violence comes from his own father.
This time however, he laid his finger on the wrong well-connected people. He is being shipped off to Colourpara to reflect on his actions.
"My hands don't discriminate. I don't care if you're a CYM member, if you're on the wrong side of the line, you will get the taste of my baton," said Marum-Ek-Ghushi, proud with ambition.
Previously, ABC Marum informed this correspondent that he believed he beats to protect justice, he beats to protect the law. He also mentioned that his seasoned taste for violence comes from his own father.
"Previously when I beat up the communist students, no one batted an eye. However, I think I underestimated the social media clout CYM members have," he added.
Meanwhile, upon visiting the hospital, this correspondent met with one of the injured CYM members. At the scene, he was seen throwing a tantrum about the air conditioner.
"I didn't get admitted to a private hospital for a faulty AC, somebody FIX this," he said, but seeing this correspondent he suddenly started groaning in pain.
After coughing aggressively, he said, "I'm sick, he's made me sick."
When asked if there was any evidence captured where the ABC was beating him up, the CYM member said, "I had a 2-minute clip recorded. But when the ABC saw me making a recording, the ABC came up to me, threw my phone to the ground and growled, "I.hate.android.phones!"
"I don't know what hurt me more, the beating or the insult. Why did he have to say that?! I was saving up for an iPhone from contributions from rickshaw pullers," the CYM member sobbed profusely.
Meanwhile, ABC Marum didn't seem too happy about his posting either.
"Who am I going to beat up now? Farmers? Everything's so quiet in the country. Who am I without making a guy beg for mercy at my feet? How will I get people to respect me if I don't use my baton … WHO WILL I BE?" exclaimed Marum.
This correspondent slipped away from Marum-Ek-Ghushi's office, before he further slipped into existential crisis and decided to beat her up.
Disclaimer: This is a satirical page and should be considered as such. Any resemblance between the published contents here and actual events or individuals, etc. is purely coincidental. The articles and photos published on this page or the views expressed here are the author's own and do not reflect the editorial policy or view of The Daily Star.
Comments